Thursday, August 27, 2009


Everythings new! As always, I've been having fun and keeping busy. School started on Monday. It's good to be back. Despite the lack of help from the student services department at the State College of Florida, I've found the faculty to be quite useful and nice. My teachers seem to be intelligent and act as though they give a shit, I dig em'. My Western Civ II professor stood up on the desk the first day of class as if we were acting out "Dead Poets Society." He's got a lot to say, most of it involves the word, "bastard" which is entertaining. I do feel as though I'm taking a lot from his class, kudos. My Art History II professor hasn't jumped on any furniture yet, but I like him just as much. He's a little quite, yet he's not stingy or reserved with information while lecturing. Though I cannot be certain, both my professors seem as though they're liberal in their social views. I'll have to find out what teachers if any are into Objectivist thinking for next semester.
Some awesome music has been surfacing. The new Dear Landlord album is fucking great. We're lucky as hell to have bands like them in existence. Often times I find myself just wanting some soft pop music but lately I've been in the mood to play it loud as they say, and Dear Landlord's "Dream Homes" hits the spot. The sound is slightly different compared to their previous releases, but different in a good way. I get bored with bands who don't change their sound at least a little bit from record to record. This has to do with the production on "Dream Homes." The sound here is just as well thought out as before, but with a higher fidelity on the recording side, as opposed to the grit on the recordings with less capability. Yup, thats what I think about that.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sent this text to myself today

It feels so good to snap. Every day is as if I've experienced a new epiphany. I like being crazy. I like my crooked teeth. I like the way I am. I like raising hell when I don't get what I want. It makes me feel alive. Love, evil, guilt, sadness, and happiness are the building blocks for feeling anything at all.

And these are my thoughts as of the moment. Tuesday I went to St. Pete to get a new wheel for my bike. Now if I could only get the sticker off the rim, sheesh. It really doesn't want to come off. I'm scared to use a butter knife in fear that It may scratch the surface. My thumb nails can't take any more picking away at it, so what's left of the sticker stays for now. Goo-gone, you're my friend. After I got my wheel I met up with Talia and Andy. Andy went to ride bmx, Talia and I went n rode around a fancy neighborhood and looked at all the houses. Later on while in the pool at their apartment building, a band was playing on the roof. We could hear them really well and they sounded relatively tight. I yelled out requests for as many Led Zeppelin songs as I could think of, but to no avail. What a shitty cover band. In the evening we hit up a bar with fancy beer. Independent bar I believe it's called. After a few beers and charming the locals I head back with Talia n Andy to their apartment and we smoked. The drive home was awesome. I love driving over the Skyway stoned. Sometimes I feel scared to drive over big bridges in fear that in an instant something will have come over me and make me throw the wheel to the right side. Driving off a bridge, meh...that shit would hurt. Tonight I will sweep my floors and clean around my house before I go out. I'd really like to go for a bike ride, but it's lookin' a little too wet out for that.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Can't complain

I am fucking up! As in AWAKE! I haven't a clue as to why I feel so hyper right now. Tonight was spent smoking pot and talking to mi friends bout all things great. That being said I'm usually not feeling like a puppy that got into some cookies, after a night of pot smoking. Actually what the hell am I talking about, I'm often feeling rambunctious. What's stinks is that I'm at my house so I'm using my fingers to wear off this energy. I know I wont be able to sit here for long so I'm gonna get my thoughts all out. First one, I've been walking around my neighborhood at night, it's fun. I'll make a playlist on my Ipod and then just zombie around outside. I saw cops driving around, three of em. They saw me and drove by slowly. I smiled and waved, they looked perturbed. It's fun to be by yourself amongst the houses. It's a weird feeling when you see someone else out at 3am, even cops. I wonder what they're up to?
My sister is back in town. I hung with her tonight, and she told me bout her trip. She and Chris had awesome stories about spending their summer in a van. HOLY SHIT. Lemme get really sidetracked for a moment and say that I made the most delicious omelet ever. It's just eggs, feta, and pesto. I straight pulled that out of my ass in a hot second too. Kay what the hell was I talking about? Damn that's right their tour story's. I had a blast last summer, hearing it all made me wish I had been out with them. Ah well, I'm sure there will come another time I'm stuck in a van with Sam North. I missed all my Rational buddy's and am glad they're back safe.
Lately I've been wearing an extra decoration on my sleeve. My mom would say it ain't no decoration. That being said, I wont treat it as one. I'll end this off without any words.

Friday, August 7, 2009


My lucid dreaming is becoming easier to do, it's having ups and downs. This is to my memory how my dream happened and in the order it happened.

I just woke up from a dream where I went back to the bar I was at last night to wait up for Jenni Lin. She eventually showed up and so did Chad Butts. Chad rules. Even in my dream he had my back and is a good buddy. We drove around in an 80's style Toyota minivan with Jenni Lin following behind us in another car. Strangely enough we were heading down to Venice where Chad lives. We passed by a group of teenagers who had caught some grouper and were frying it by the side of the road. I wanted to stop and try a fried grouper sandwich, but I had a feeling that Jenni didn't want to so we didn't stop. This is where the lucid dreaming makes me feel like a total pussy, because I'm usually not that considerate in real life. Well, I can be...if I want to.
After we got to our destination which turned out to not matter at all if it were Venice because it wasn't even Chads house, we went into a bedroom and proceeded to hang out. Jenni had some of her own friends over and they sucked enough that I wish they were omitted from my dream. Chad and I talked about racism loud and vulgar as an intentionally offensive attempt to piss everyone off around us. Chad mentioned Atiba Jefferson, which then made me think of Thomas Jefferson. Then we touched on how ironic it was that the founding fathers believed all men were equal, but still owned slaves. I said "talk about having your cake and eating it too, fuckin-eh. Wait a slave would have made the cake!" Jenni thought this was funny, but everyone else did not. Making Jenni laugh was the highlight of my dream. At one point in the conversation I asked Chad if he had any wheels for sale. He said "yeah, but they're 65mm," which is kind of huge and I like to skate 52's. Jenni was flirty throughout the dream and pissed me off entirely since she was only acting so as to benefit her own personal motive.
When I get really good at lucid dreaming I'll start bringing flame throwers and any other violent weapons I deem awesome enough to fuck people up that piss me off while I'm dreaming. I mean hey, it's just a dream right?

E-mail I wrote to my friend Brittany

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and be careful what you wish may get it.

Well those old sayings hold entirely true to everything current in our political situation. Obama said he wants to "fundamentally transform the United States." Obama supporters embrace this idea wholeheartedly. However, to not look a gift horse in the mouth would be recognizing that this country is the only country that gave women and minorities a chance and an equal playing field. The Constitution, Bill of rights, The Declaration of Independence, are the pinnacle of human thinking. These documents give us all of our freedoms down to the core of every aspect of our lives and to fundamentally change them would be a travesty.
Now to apply that thought to the recent government buyouts of financial banking institutions, the General Motors buyout, and now the socialized health care proposal makes me fear for my liberties as an American citizen and a human being. These socialized government reforms reward people for doing poorly and in the long run will not create stability in their industries or society. Whats happening is welfare liberalism, people wanting a handout, something for nothing...or worse; something in trade for debt. The people support the government, the government does not support the people. If the people become unfit to rule themselves, then they will be fit for a master. And believe me, someone will step in and make the decisions for us if we don't. As loud as I can scream it or feel it, yes we need to be careful what we wish for. There are a lot of people in this country that think free health care is a great idea. It's a nice thought, but it's far from reality. Health care is a product not a right. Many reasons come into play as to why a certain person or family might not have health care, which is extremely unfortunate. But to burden the rest of society by way of leveling and redistributing the wealth as to support those who are less fortunate is an immoral and unconstitutional act.
There are many people in this country who disagree with socialized health care and see what a mess it will bring our country into. It will be the death of private health care, and destroy the health care industry by force. I can go into detail about all the negative consequences we will face if this particular government run health care plan is imposed, but then my E-mail would be even longer. Just know this; we've been too reactive as opposed to pro-active in this country. We need think before we leap. HAH another old adage!

Some of my feelings on this issue were well put by William Anderson. He said this:

Round two of post-Ybor drunk thoughts

I will tell you this. Once in the emergency room I told my mom that I wont learn my lesson until I'm dead. What does that even fucking mean? I think it means this; There is a severe lesson in growing up that I cannot learn. It isn't in my personality. I don't see how it could be innate for anyone. I am Peter fucking Pan and as much as I think I want to grow up, I know deep down inside that I do not. I cannot fathom a premeditated life. I have left behind more than I can even remember in the way of loves and material things, all in the pursuit of a great time, story to tell and an adventure. Reflecting on this can sometimes make me feel lonely and sad. However, do I really want a woman as a side kick? Do I really want to pursue a life where something like money or fancy thangs are of the highest priority? In retrospect a woman to love could not be anything I or any man could tie down and form into something. A woman that I could love is just as free and complicated as I. Even though I don't remember much of last night I know that I'm the luckiest person on earth to have friends that are just as balls to the walls fucked up as I am. Plus I'm lucky to have friends that watch out for me.

Did anyone even watch that Little Joy video I posted yesterday? If you didn't, you're missing a shooting star that seldom happens in a generation. The most simple pop music is the best. To say a lot with a little is something I admire more than my own existence. To have a melody happen once that makes me remember and hear it in my head all day is a godly feat. To have expressed an entire feeling in under three minutes is heroic. Life is great simply because song exists. Simply because it's not so simple. To keep it simple is deep, there is more than meets the ear.

Without further ado, a live version of my new favorite Little Joy song:

I'll write about my trip to Atlanta to see Little Joy sometime soon.


Hello, my name is Pete. For right now that's all you need to know. This blog wont be a secret journal, however I'm going to try and be as honest and objective to my thoughts and feelings as possible. The first few entries will be from E-mails I've sent.

After a night of drinking in Ybor, I felt the need to confess my love to Paul Mccartney. It went like this:

Paul Mccartney, I love you so much. Even though you'll never read this or think of me, I've spent so much time in my life listening to you and thinking about you. I'm so baffled to think that anyone could have been born on this earth with such a beautiful voice or talent for writing songs. I am in debt to you eternally for every wonderful emotion that you've taught me to feel.
I cried a lot tonight, more than I have in a long time because I listened to Revolver over and over. I put off listening to this album for what seems like my whole life. I felt always that if I'd listened to all the Beatles records then I'd be done for. No new ways to think about a feeling, no new ways of looking at myself or hearing a song. Revolver was the last of the Beatles albums for me to soak up. Sure I'd heard it a few times and was familiar with the music. But never have I listened to it over and over and over till I knew it all and had an opinion on it. Now that I've listened to all the Beatles albums in this way I feel lost in life. As if I have no purpose. I feel like all my loves are done and gone.
The only thing that comes close to those loving feelings is the love I feel when I listen to the Beatles. I wonder if ever again I will meet a woman who innately makes me feel a love the way the Beatles make me feel love. I'm not counting on it and I'm a better man for having once felt it at all. There isn't a feeling better than the Beatles. I can say I know what it means to have loved someone to the point of tears and understanding a feeling. But now there are no new feelings to understand. No one will say it better than the Beatles did. Anything you want to say about any feeling, they did it ten times better than you or I ever will. I'm subject to the mercy of a life with no new music. I pray that if there is a God he will let me see that there is something else in life to be had and loved.
Have you ever fucked anything up beyond repair? Beyond, "I'm sorry" or any kind of do over? I wish so badly that I could explain the blood that pumps through my body. I am evil in my existence and essence, I wish so much so that I weren't. I wish that all of life were a Beatles album.